In Gratitude: A Small but Powerful Gift

I feel so blessed and have been in a constant state of gratitude for the support I'm getting for the blog and my new FB page.  Please accept this small but powerful gift.  I am grateful to have experienced this poem today.  I would be honored if you'd join me in this experience. 

Light & Love,
Lauren

My Soul Counseled Me

Kahlil Gibran

My soul spoke to me and counseled me to love all that others hate,
And to befriend those whom others defame.
My soul counseled me and revealed unto me that love dignifies not alone the one who loves, but also the beloved.
Unto that day love was for me a thread of cobweb between two flowers, close to one another;
But now it has become a halo with neither beginning nor end,
Encircling all that has been, and waxing eternally to embrace all that shall be.

My soul counseled me and taught me to see beauty veiled by form and color.
My soul charged me to gaze steadfastly upon all that is deemed ugly until it appears lovely
Before my soul had thus charged and counseled me, I had seemed to see beauty like unto wavering torches between pillars of smoke;
But now the smoke has dispersed and vanished and I see naught but the burning.

My soul counseled me and charged me to listen for voices that rise neither from the tongue nor the throat.
Before that day I heard but dully, and naught save clamor and loud cries came to my ears;
But now I have learned to listen to silence,
To hear its choirs singing the songs of ages,
Chanting the hymns of space, and disclosing the secrets of eternity.

My soul spoke to me and counseled me to quench my thirst with that wine which may not be poured into cups,
Nor lifted by hands, nor touched by lips.
Unto that day my thirst was like a dim spark laid in ashes
To be put out by a drought from any spring;
But now my strong yearning has become my cup,
Love has become my wine, and loneliness my joy.

My soul counseled me and charged me to seek that which is unseen;
And my soul revealed unto me that the thing we grasp is the thing we desire.
In other days I was content with warmth in winter, and with a cooling zephyr in the summer season;
But now my fingers are become as mist,
Letting fall all that they have held, to mingle with the unseen that I now desire.

My soul spoke to me and invited me to breathe the fragrance from a plant
That has neither root nor stalk nor blossom, and that no eye has seen.
Before my soul counseled me thus, I sought perfumes in the gardens,
In jars of sweet-smelling herbs and vessels of incense;
But now I am aware only of an incense that may not be burned,
I breathe an air more fragrant than all earth’s gardens and all the winds of space.

My soul counseled me and charged me to answer and say: “I follow,” when the unknown and the adventurous call unto me.
Hitherto I had answered naught but the voice of the crier in the market place,
Nor did I pursue aught save roads charted and well trodden;
But now the known has become a steed that I mount to seek the unknown,
And the road has become a ladder by which I may climb to the perilous summit.

My soul counseled me and admonished me to measure time with this saying:
“There was a yesterday and there shall be a tomorrow.”
Unto that hour I deemed the past an epoch that is lost and shall be forgotten,
And the future I deemed an era that I may not attain;
But now I have learned this:
That in the brief present all time, with all that is in time,
Is achieved and come true.

My soul spoke and revealed unto me that I am not bound in space by the words:
“Here, there, and over there.”
Hitherto I stood upon my hill, and every other hill seemed distant and far away;
But now I know that the hill whereon I dwell is indeed all hills,
And the valley whereunto I descend comprehends all valleys.

My soul counseled me and besought me to watch while others sleep
And to seek my pillow while they are wakeful,
For in all my years I had not perceived their dreams, nor they mine.
But now I am winged by day in my dreaming,
And when they sleep I behold them free upon the night,
And I rejoice in their freedom.

My soul counseled me and charged me lest I be exalted because of over praise
And lest I distressed for fear of blame.
Until that day I doubted the work of my own handiwork;
But now I have learned this:
That the trees blossom in spring, and bear fruit in summer,
And drop their leaves in autumn to become utterly naked in winter
Without exaltation and without fear or shame.

My soul counseled me and assured me
That I am neither higher than the pygmy nor lower than the giant.
Before that day I beheld mankind as two men,
The one a weakling whom I derided or pitied,
And the other a mighty man whom I would either follow, or oppose in rebellion.
But now I know that I was formed even from the same dust of which all men are created,
That my elements are their elements, and my inner self is their inner self.
My struggle is their struggle, and their pilgrimage is mine own.
If they transgress, I am also the transgressor,
And if they do well, then I have a share in their well-doing.
If they arise, I too arise with them; if they stay behind, I also, to company them.

My soul counseled me and instructed me to see that the light which I carry is not my light,
That my song was not created within me;
For though I travel with the light, I am not the light,
And though I am a lute fastened with strings,
I am not the lute-player.

My soul counseled me, my brother, and enlightened me.
And oftentimes has your soul counseled and enlightened you.
For you are like me, and there is no difference between us
Save that I speak of what is within me in words that I have heard in my silence,
And you guard what is within you, and your guardianship is as goodly as my much speaking.

Thoughts on Forgiveness and a Practical Exercise

               Whether you’re new to the spiritual scene or you’ve been on your path for some time now, no doubt you’ve come across the big F-word: Forgiveness.  It’s huge.  It’s essential.  But why do we NEED to practice it?  What is forgiveness really and what does it have to do with Sacred Communication?  And, perhaps most important of all, how?  How do we forgive, especially in situations that are particularly hurtful or unjust?

                The answer to how relies heavily on the answer to the first two questions of why and what.  Let me begin by saying that to forgive doesn’t mean to condone the actions that led to the need for forgiveness.  It doesn’t make whatever happened okay.  We forgive to release ourselves from pain.  We forgive so our brains can stop re-experiencing trauma.

               You see, our brains, as amazing as they can be, cannot tell the difference between what is real and what isn’t.  As somebody who suffered from panic attacks for many years, this understanding was key to my freedom from anxiety.  Panic attacks are our bodies’ physiological response to a threat that isn’t really there.  My rapid heartbeat, cold sweat, and difficulty breathing wouldn’t seem out of place if I were, say, face to face with an angry grizzly bear.  What made them something my doctors called an anxiety disorder was that they would happen while I was in a safe and stable environment, like my living room.  Was I in danger while sitting on my couch watching Project Runway, procrastinating on a term paper?  I sure hope not.  But my brain didn’t know that because I was worrying or under stress.   You see in my head I was a complete failure who would eventually end up homeless and hungry.  So my brain sent signals to the rest of my body to go into survival mode, even though the reality of the situation was that I was well-fed with a roof over my head and cable TV. 

The same divide between reality and what’s in our minds occurs when we experience memories, especially those that are emotionally charged.  When we remember a painful situation, without practicing forgiveness, we re-experience the trauma of that event.  This, in turn, creates some major blocks in our flow and we vibrate at much lower levels energetically.  Just as a car loses fuel efficiency and is slowed down by heavy loads and deflated tires, our energy, our ability to communicate efficiently, is also burdened by pain and trauma we have experienced.  Forgiveness helps lighten our load.  Forgiveness raises us up, it inflates us, so that we become lighter and are better able to traverse the landscapes of our soul. 

         Forgiveness is essential to Sacred Communication.  When we carry unforgiveness  around with us, we are closed off.  It’s as if we are walking around with blinders.  We are unable to perceive what we need for our Highest Good.  Just as a starving man might ignore the risks associated with stealing to be fed, we too can ignore dangers in our quest to escape from the hurt we experience when remembering situations that call for forgiveness.  Forgiveness helps us heal and move on.  It helps US – the forgivers. 

          As stated before, forgiveness does not condone hurtful actions.  We don’t do it for others.  We do it for ourselves.  It is a process.  Yes, it helps us recover from pain and it lightens our burden, but it is no magic wand that takes one wave to cure the wound.  When we forgive, we cut the energetic ties we have to a particular person or situation.  We stop the flow of negative energy.  Once we do this we feel better.  However, we may still think of the situation, or even dream of the person, from time to time.  Revisiting and remembering the situation may still be painful.  That doesn’t mean our forgiveness didn’t “work.”  Nor does it mean you’re “stuck in the past.”  If this happens, I encourage you to ask your Broadest Being, what lesson still needs to be learned from this past event.  In fact, if you find yourself going back to a situation that you thought was far behind you, it might mean that you have finally reached a place of forgiveness in your heart that allows your soul to take what it needs from that situation.  Ask yourself without judgment what it is you need to know.  The answer will come.
          
         The following exercise will help speed along that process of forgiveness.  It can be done as a meditative visualization or you can actually do the actions described.  I call it praying with props.  Do whatever feels right to you.  If you would like to actually do this, you’ll need a writing implement and some sort of blank check.  This could just be a slip of paper you write on or you can find a template online and print it out.

First, enter your heartspace.  Hold your hands to your heart and take three deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth.  If you have something to write with, hold it in your hands to your heart as you breathe.  Your heart center is a vibrant glowing green.  You may even see sparkles of nurturing pink light (Mother Mary, according to some). 

            Once you are occupying your heartspace, ask your Highest Self for what needs healing most.  What situation or person needs your forgiveness?  Wait for an answer.  See what you notice.  It may be an image, a sound, a thought.  Or perhaps it is something obvious that motivated you to do this visualization in the first place.  Just notice your heart’s desire.  It is also perfectly acceptable to just choose something.

When you have decided who or what you wish to forgive, see yourself drawing a beautiful writing tool from your heart.  Maybe it’s a quill.  Perhaps it’s a fountain pen or a sparkly pen with a tuft of feathers on top.  It could even be a freshly sharpened number two pencil with bright yellow paint.  Visualize whatever brings you joy.  If you are actually doing this exercise, do the same in choosing what you are going to write with.  Write with something that makes you happy.  Your favorite pen or a writing tool set aside for sacred purposes.  Whatever you choose, see it glowing and charged with the bright emerald energy of your heart chakra.

           Now you are ready to write your check of forgiveness.  First, fill out the line, “Pay to the order of,” and write the person’s or group’s name that you are forgiving.  In the little box next to this line make the infinity symbol: a figure 8 lying on its side.  This ensures that your act of forgiveness reaches out and heals across all of time, even the past.  Next, on the amount line, write, “Total and Unconditional Forgiveness.”   It is unconditional because you are making the choice to forgive.  It is not hinged on the apology of the other person.  You may also choose to add a brief description of the situation that calls for forgiveness on the Memo line.  This focuses your act of forgiveness.  Before the last important step of signing your name, go back up to the top right corner of your check where the Date line is located.  Ask yourself if you are ready to forgive and release this situation/person fully right now.  Listen for the answer and be honest with yourself.  If you are ready, write today’s date.  If not, ask yourself when you will be able to?  Again, pay attention to your inner thoughts and feeling for an answer.  If a future date doesn’t come clearly to you, choose one and write it on the Date line.  KNOW that when that date comes, you will have completely processed the situation and will be able to release it fully, with no extra effort on your part.  Lastly, sign your name at the bottom of the check.  Your signature is important as it claims the intention as yours.  Then release the check and you are finished. 

If you are doing this as a visualization, you can visualize putting the check in the mail and the other person receiving it. If you chose to do this exercise in a tangible way, I encourage you to release the check in whatever way speaks to you.  You may choose to bury it or burn it (safely!).  You may even tear it into small pieces.  If you’ve post-dated the check (or even if you haven’t) you may decided to keep it on your altar for some time until you feel fully ready to release it.  You may choose to include this release in a ritual or it may be as unceremonious as you’d like.  It’s completely up to you.  Just do what you feel is right for you.    

           And there you have it.  With that simple visualization or act, you have rid yourself of the debt to whatever trauma you have experienced.  You have paid in full and are released energetically from any ties you have with the negativity of that situation or person. 

I hope you found this useful.  As always, I’d love to hear your feedback.  What worked and what didn’t?  How did you modify it to make it your own?  How did you feel afterwards?  What did you notice?  Anything you care to share will gladly be received. 

Communicate with Consciousness

What I love about this week’s title is that it can have so many meanings. And all of them would be an important aspect of Sacred Communication.  It could refer to communicating with THE Consciousness, the Divine, God, the Universe.  I suspect at some point we will expand upon that (this has a double meaning as well!).  But this week I want to simply speak about conscious communication, communicating mindfully.  It’s something we don’t do often enough, and we so need to.

Have you ever gotten in your car and the next thing you knew, you were at your destination.  Almost as if you had driven on autopilot.  It’s somewhat unsettling.  You were in control of a speeding hunk of metal, yet your mind was elsewhere.  You were driving unAWARE. 

Now, have you ever felt the same feeling after walking away from a conversation?  What just happened?  They just told me their name, how did I instantly forget it?  Did I say what I really meant to say?  I didn’t mean for it to come out the way it sounded.  Driving unAWARE can be just as scary in this context.  While the immediate consequences may not be as dire, over time, constantly communicating when we are stuck in our own heads can lead to serious breakdowns in communication. 

Upon further reflection on Sacred Communication and how it came to be, I realized it had origins even older than my pregnancy dream.  A couple of years ago, when I was just beginning this latest leg of my Spiritual Path, my husband, Cory, asked me an important question.  You see, Cory and I are opposites in many ways.  Even though we were both raised Catholic, we ended up with very different attitudes towards institutionalized religion. I wasn’t satisfied with the answers that were offered and so broke away to develop my own Spiritual Compass.  But Catholicism suits Cory just fine.  For him, religion needs to be a set of rules one tries to follow.  Straightforward.  I needed more.  Cory doesn’t agree with all my beliefs and I’m sure he finds many of them downright bizarre, but he’s witnessed the change in my BEing, a fulfilling of potential that he cannot deny.  He’s supportive and questions my evolving belief system respectfully.  I cannot fully express how grateful I am to have someone I trust so completely play that role in my life. 

One evening, as we were driving, I was explaining to Cory my belief that we are all ONE.  Not only did I mean we were all connected in a very real way, but that we were each truly part of a single whole, like cells in an organism, instruments in an orchestra, or the colored rays that make up white light.  “Then why does so much miscommunication occur?” he asked me in earnest.  After a breath, I simply replied, “Because we forget.” 

And we are constantly trying to remember our ONEness, whether we are aware of it or not.  We are constantly striving for connection.

Yet all we do is talk about ourselves.  Because really that’s all we can do. 

Notice for a moment that strange duality that exists in our interaction with a majority of the rest of the world.  It’s polite to ask people about themselves (although some topics are certainly off-limits): How are you doing?  How is your family? Where did you get that fabulous hat?  However, it can be considered rude or self-absorbed to go overboard in answering personal questions.  You don’t want to talk about yourself TOO much.  In other words, some of the more cynical of us may say no one really wants to hear about you talk about yourself.  They’re really just waiting for their turn to talk about themselves. 

So where’s the balance?  What’s the point of a bunch of fleshpods bumping around on this blue-green planet babbling about their personal points of view?  What’s the use if we are all ONE anyway?

To remember.

I want you to think someone you have a relationship with where you can remember its origin (so not a parent or someone who has been in your life since before you can remember).  A friend.  A lover.  A boss, even.  Then think of the moment(s) when your relationship with that person was “upleveled.”  Upleveling occurs when a spark is struck and a connection is made.  It happens when commonalities are uncovered and synchronicity shines.  Perhaps it was something he or she said that prompted you to give out your phone number.  Maybe it’s the point in the interview when you just knew you got the job.    For example, on our first date, my husband introduced me to The Strand in NYC, a bookstore that touted 18 miles of books! Upleveled.  Then, a couple of weeks later, I was talking to him about visiting my aunt for the weekend.  “Where does she live?” he asked.

“In upstate NY,” I answered vaguely.

“Where in upstate NY?” he persisted.

“Nowhere you’ve heard of.”

“Try me.”

“Um okay.  Shortsville.”  (No, I’m not making that up)

“I know where that is! My dad lives two towns over in Rushville.” Upleveled. 

It may seem pretty obvious that our relationships are built on connections.  When we’re lucky we bond over things we mutually enjoy.  But sometimes we have relationships based on occurrences we must grudgingly accept in our lives, like working in the same office building. 

What may not be so obvious is that we are in a constant search to uplevel the relationships we have.  It is the true driving force behind asking about your day or about that book you’re reading.  Whether we are AWARE of it or not.

So why don’t we make the choice right now to be a bit more AWARE.  What questions would you ask if you were consciously trying to connect to the person in front of you?  How would you answer if you were aware that the person on the other end of the phone was seeking to uplevel your relationship? 

It’s something to think about.  To meditate on.  I may not have offered practical practices in this particular post, but if you stay with me for the ride, I promise the concrete exercises will come.  Exercises designed to help us remember our ONEness.  So won’t you linger?  Let’s uplevel together.  Let’s practice communicating with consciousness. 

Say, what's this all about?

Communication, at its most basic level, is an energetic exchange.  Sacred Communication occurs when we remember that, since we are all connected as One, all communication truly takes place within.  When we are able to remember this Truth, we can practice communicating mindfully thereby removing blocks and re-energizing the flow.

Ok so that introduces “Sacred Communication” in a vast way that satisfies the part of me that enjoys defining EVERYTHING.  But what is this blog really about?  The truth is I don’t know … yet.  I can, however, tell you where and when it started.

In my dreams, when I freshly pregnant with E-Max.

Anyone who’s had the pleasure of experiencing crazy pregnancy dreams, go ahead and roll your eyes.  After all, you don’t go around in the waking world labeling people as pineapples or cacti.

But seriously, I dreamt I was working with families, teaching a workshop called “Sacred Communication.”  Those two words were so important I heard them shouted into my ear as I was waking up.  As if my subconscious, my Guides, random electrical impulses in my brain, whatever, were saying “Don’t forget-SACRED COMMUNICATION!” 

I awoke inspired to action.  A Divine calling to Teach I’m sure.  Nothing less.  But what was “Sacred Communication”?  I had no idea.  How was I going to teach something if I didn’t even know what it was?  The same way I had taught all other subjects I was fuzzy on: Google.
Well that didn’t exactly pan out.  Maybe I should have tried Bing.  Nor did my very teacherly approach of creating an official lesson plan with every minute outlined for the first workshop.  It was clearly time to grab my mind machete.  I had to cut my own path.

I’ve always cherished the idea of going against the grain.  Blazing my own trail.  But it’s easier said than done.  Truth is I can be a bit of a lazy butt.  And as those clichés illustrate, while the idea of creating my own path is a romantic one, the practice is both tedious and terrifying.  I found it difficult to break away from my plan of legitimizing myself through paying lots of money to earn degrees and working soul-crushing jobs to pay my dues.  I’m still a sucker for pieces of paper with pretty borders and shiny emblems.

Then a great mentor and friend of mine, Rich Braconi, spoke wisdom that served as the catalyst for my freedom.  He said, “You’re going to be teaching things that have never been taught in brand new ways.  Why would you be receiving the information through a traditional route?” 

That shut me up pretty quickly, albeit temporarily.  Those of you who know me, might say this is a good thing.  You’d be right. 

Sacred Communication is something I’m learning about in all ways.  Sometimes simply by just noticing.  Sometimes by knitting my brow and grasping at words until my brain hurts.  It’s a process and one I wish to share with you. 

A key component of Sacred Communication is to practice communicating mindfully.  As in mindful meditation, it is indeed a practice.  I could not hope to become an expert on this idea of Sacred Communication without consciously practicing communicating. 

So please join me on this journey.  Your participation isn’t just wanted, it’s a necessity.  I need to hear what you think.  What you have to say.  I need your input.  I need you to shut me up so I can listen.  Communication is, at the very least, a two-way street.  Okay, more of an infinite-lane thoroughfare.  Hop in.  Be my navigator.