What's so great about babies anyway?

Let me start by saying that this post isn’t about how awesome my baby is. To be fair, he is pretty awesome though. Nor am I one of those moms who fawns over every precious little poop. Granted, I get a bit excited if it ends a bout of crying. Before I was a mother, babies were definitely part of my pile of good. But it wasn’t until after I got to hang out with one so much as a mom that I began to ask myself why. Why do so many people just go gaga over babies?

One of the purest moments of joy I’ve ever felt was the first morning I was waking baby   E-Max up, leaning over his crib and, after stretching like a true Yogi, his eyes focused on mine as he flashed me a HUGE smile. Now I live for that first morning smile. I’ve always known baby smiles were sort of a big deal. But when it’s YOUR baby..... If only I could find away to bottle that emotion up, well let’s just say I wouldn’t have to worry about putting E-Max through college in 18 years.

But I learned quickly, you cannot trust baby smiles. For as quickly as a baby’s face lights up, it can turn all baby frowns and wails. One minute you’re singing your heart out to your baby, laughing at all the monkeys falling off the bed and bumping their heads, and in a flash, you’re getting swiped at with sharp little baby claws as your child throws his head back and lets out a screech as if to lament his tiny place in this world. “What the actual f*** just happened?” you may think.

At first, I was reminded by this quote about the most famous literary fairy from Peter Pan:

Tink was not all bad: or, rather, she was all bad just now, but, on the other hand, sometimes she was all good. Fairies have to be one thing or the other, because being so small they unfortunately have room for one feeling only at a time. They are, however, allowed to change, only it must be a complete change (J.M. Barrie).

Is it just that E-Max is so small he can only have one feeling at a time? Is there not enough room in that tiny baby brain of his for the subtleties of emotion?

My conclusion is well, yeah, sort of. Because of his developing brain, he isn’t too aware of his past and, at just over 3 months, he probably would have a difficult time even grasping the concept of “future.” Babies exist wholly in the present.

Does this sound familiar?

For all those who have experienced first hand the benefits of meditation, you’ll recognize “being present” as key to any successful meditation practice. It is something so many of us struggle with - getting caught up in the stress of yesterday or the worry of tomorrow. Yet, babies so effortlessly live in the moment. In fact, it is all they can do. Sometimes that means being filled with joy just because you caught your reflection in the mirror.  ometimes it means beaming with pride because you’re able to pull yourself up on your own two feet. And sometimes, being completely in the moment means crying out because of gas pains.

The cool thing is that we were all babies at one point. We did it once, we can certainly do it again. We can all “be present”, no matter how big our dumb ol’ brains get.

So take a look around you. What little gurus are in your life? And what do they have to teach you?

Growing your Intuition 101: Discerning the Source

Last week I wrote about how we each have a Divine Right to choose our signs.  We can choose what is meaningful for us and in what ways.  This is helpful for those of us just learning to listen.  When we begin to open ourselves up, we can be faced with a lot of doubt.  Am I imagining things?  Is this just a coincidence or is it meaningful?  Recognizing that we can choose meaning and that the act of choosing doesn’t diminish the power of a symbol or message is a practice that can help us with the important first step of learning to trust ourselves and our connection with the Divine.  

As your Spiritual Self continues to unfold, you open yourself up to receive more and more messages.  They could come in the form of an object or animal that frequently crosses your path.  Perhaps there are words, phrases, or even a song that you hear or see on a daily basis.  Sometimes they come in the form of “gut feelings” or instincts.  Other times, they may come as powerful dreams.  You know when this happens because you won’t be able to ignore them, although you may try.  You may also experience a lot of “aha!” moments as you go about your day.  This occurs especially when you are able to discern the meaning of the messages and signs you’ve been witnessing.  When you make the connection, it fizzles and sparks seemingly in the very synapses of your brain.  

Developing your Intuition, growing your Connection, and BE-ing in CommUnion are all the same thing.  There are countless books, workshops, and other resources on the subject.  It is a practice I am actively engaged in and one I suspect I will be for my entire lifetime.  In this post I offer just a little tip and I will continue to offer them in the weeks to come as I learn and process them myself.  

There continues to be doubt.  There may always be doubt.  I recently began getting out there and giving public spiritual readings, a somewhat terrifying endeavor.  Of course, I was (and still am) doubting, at times, my abilities and connection.  I truly believe receiving Wisdom on a psychic level is something each of us is capable of.  I will say it, with earnest, to your face right now.  I believe it whole-heartedly.  Yet when it comes to myself, I still hear that little voice that says I can’t.  My teacher and friend, Rich Braconi, says that voice is the reason I know I can.  It is the ego voice and it tries to counter the Spirit.  So everything I do in Connection with Spirit, the ego voice tells me is wrong or bad or stupid.  

So how do we know when that inner voice is coming from ego or coming from our Broadest Being?   Rich also imparted wisdom on this topic.  He simply states that when our ego talks to us it is fear-based.  When we receive guidance from our Higher Self it is love-based.  This seems simple enough but fear and love are rather abstract.  The translation can become confusing.  

Through further self-exploration on this topic, I discovered a sort of short-cut that helps me discern whether I am being guided by my ego self or Higher Self, by fear or love.  I have found that the ego tends to communicate in negative statements whereas your Higher Self usually communicates using positive wording.  

The same idea is found in many resources that speak about manifestation through positive visualization, such as The Secret.  I’ve heard many teachers and speakers stress the importance of using positive wording when setting an intention.  For example, if you were worried about your health, you’d want to set the intention to be healthy as opposed to asking the Universe, “Don’t let me get sick.”  The idea behind this is that the Universe doesn’t really understand our grammatical nuances like the negative.  To break it down further, our brains, and therefore our intentions, tend to latch onto the most concrete part of a sentence or idea.  The other words are sort of just filler.  So if I’m asking the Universe to keep me healthy, I’m focusing on and sending out “healthy, healthy, healthy.”  If I’m asking to not get sick, I’m focusing on and sending out “sick, sick, sick.”  

Wouldn’t it make sense then that the Universe, that our Broadest Being, sends us messages in the same way?  

The best way to illustrate this is with an example.  When I became pregnant and gave birth to my son, I received guidance to be a stay-at-home mom, at least for the foreseeable future.  Furthermore, I see that it is an integral part to my Life Path and that I will be learning lessons necessary for me to fulfill my Purpose from my experience as a mom that I can’t learn from any book or workshop. It’s true. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and am learning at what seems to be lightning speed.  Even though, being a mom is my favorite job ever (this came as a bit of surprise even to me!), doubt about this guidance creeps in.  I am worried about my family being able to sustain itself on one income.  I often catch myself asking if I can really afford to be home with my son.  I ping-pong between yes and no.  

No.  Look at couples around you where both people work and they can’t even make ends meet.  Some of them don’t even have kids.  You won’t be able to afford a house and food on one person’s salary.  

Yes you can!  You are supported by this decision.  It’s the best choice to keep you, your husband and your son healthy and happy.  

When I stepped back and looked at those two viewpoints battling within, one clearly comes from fear and the other from love.  When I thought about looking for a “normal” job, I was motivated by fear that my family wouldn’t have enough.  But when I thought about staying home with my son, just the benefits of such a set-up came to mind.  It also felt right.  I felt fulfilled.  I also noticed the support I received by those who care about me.  For example, I completed graduate school with a 4.0 GPA and received an award for student teaching, but I’ve never heard so much praise from my husband as when he’s able to come home to a tidy house and a happy baby.  He constantly reminds me of how proud he is of me being a good mom to our baby boy.  Since we are all connected, I know that his encouragement extends far beyond just himself.  His message is one of love and he is a conduit of the Universe, as we all are.

But what about guidance about a negative situation?  Take for example, walking to your car in a dark parking lot by yourself.  A reasonable situation in which to experience fear.   How can you know who is speaking in such a situation.  I’d still say that the negative/positive wording test works.  A message from fear might sound more like, “Don’t go that way!” Whereas true guidance from your Higher Wisdom might come as, “Turn left.” or “Lock your doors.”  In this particular example, I’d of course caution not to throw common sense out the window.  It’s better safe than sorry!  

Another example is two years ago when I had an appendectomy.  It was finals time at school and I was working on a paper that was due at the end of the day when I started to feel pain.  It wasn’t excruciating like the pain one normally hears about associated with appendicitis, but it was enough to be distracting.  My fear told me not to pay attention to it.  That if I didn’t get my work done in time, I’d wouldn’t get an A in the course.  But I was also lovingly guided to go see a doctor, and that in doing so, I could at least get a doctor’s note for an extension on the paper’s due date which would make up for the time lost going to the appointment.  It turned out that I had a “fat ol’ appendix” that needed to be removed right away.  Not only did I receive extensions on all my papers, but because of my current A-average in one of my classes, I was excused from taking one test completely.  Even a rather common surgery like an appendectomy can be a scary thing, but the messages that led to my well-being still came from the point of Love.

So what messages are you listening to?  You may or may not agree with me.  I’d love to hear about how you let your intuition guide you.  Thanks for keeping me company on this leg of my journey!

Sacred Choice: Choosing What We Notice

        The most common question of anyone trying to develop their intuition or psychic abilities is, “Is this real or am I making this up?”  The answer is always, “Yes.”

Just because it stems from you doesn’t mean it’s invalid.  After all, Divinity is within.    There is a poster in our bedroom that I hung up when E-Max was born.  It is one of those stunning images from the Hubble Telescope - the Universe in breathtaking technicolor.  At the bottom there is a quote from Albert Einstein: “Imagination is more important than knowledge.  Knowledge is limited.  Imagination encircles the world.”  I want to take that idea a step further and say imagination is essential to knowledge.  Imagination is the precursor to knowledge.  Everything you see before you, every object in your life, every rule that governs your day, every individual action, every collective belief, every societal norm, every accepted fact started in the imagination.  Began as a “what if” or vision.  There was a moment, at least, when your cup of coffee, your car, your home, these words you’re reading, existed as just a thought or a speculation.

I try to live my life with a skeptic’s eye and an open mind.  One thing that can bother me about skeptics, however, is their gusto for debunking.  Being able to explain something within the known laws of science and logic shouldn’t make it less important or amazing.  Sure, search for an explanation, but don’t seek to take the power from an experience.  The two can coexist.  Finding an explanation shouldn’t make it any less meaningful.  

Here’s an example of what I mean.  After returning home from Kathy Milano’s Angelic Immersion Retreat, I started noticing that I would see the time 11:11 at least once a day.  A quick search on Google and it’s clear 11:11 is kind of a big deal and many consider 11 to be a number of the Angels.  There are many forums in which I would be able to share my 11:11 experiences and get many stories in return.  

However, this obsession with 11:11 can be easily explained.  Our brains like patterns.  They like symmetry.  And though we have a limit, they like repetition.  Seeing 11:11 on a digital clock is like candy for our brains.  They take note of it and it gets priority seating in our memories.  You can notice a slight difference in your reaction if you were to observe this time on an analog clock.  Not nearly as “exciting.”  

As a new mother, constantly concerned with feeding times and nap times, I find myself looking at the clock quite frequently each day.  Also, technology has made it so that there is always a digital representation of the time within my view: cellphones, time displays on the TV and computer, cable boxes, microwaves, ovens, iPod docks, radios, cars, etc.  It’s not unlikely that I would catch the time at 11:11, am or pm, each day.

But do you know what first occurs to me whenever I see 11:11?  I get a little happy.  A little lighter, as if I just remembered something important and wonderful.  Do I merely explain it away as a idiosyncrasy of the brain?  No.  I suppose I could, but where’s the fun in that?  My first thought, even though I know all this, is “Angels!”  Usually followed either by “Thank you!” or “Help!”  You see it doesn’t matter if 11:11 is an Angel number or just a pattern my brain finds pleasant to notice, because I’ve decided that it will serve as a meaningful sign for me.  It is precisely because my brain urges me to drop everything and take notice every time I see 11:11 that makes it a perfect reminder of my Connection with Divinity.

  And you know what?  That’s perfectly okay.  It is okay to choose our signs.  To choose what we notice.  We are well within our Divine Right.  Free Will is a defining characteristic of our Humanity.  Our practice of it is integral to our Re-Connection with the Divine.  Begin with the simple practice of choosing your signs.  Set your intention and then see what you notice as the days and weeks unfold.  Give credit to your imagination.  It is a powerful tool.  Don’t close your eyes to it or dismiss it as child’s play.  Instead, tune in.  Listen to what it’s telling you and see what happens.  Witness the magical transformation of your life.  I’d love to hear about your journey!  

In Gratitude: A Small but Powerful Gift

I feel so blessed and have been in a constant state of gratitude for the support I'm getting for the blog and my new FB page.  Please accept this small but powerful gift.  I am grateful to have experienced this poem today.  I would be honored if you'd join me in this experience. 

Light & Love,
Lauren

My Soul Counseled Me

Kahlil Gibran

My soul spoke to me and counseled me to love all that others hate,
And to befriend those whom others defame.
My soul counseled me and revealed unto me that love dignifies not alone the one who loves, but also the beloved.
Unto that day love was for me a thread of cobweb between two flowers, close to one another;
But now it has become a halo with neither beginning nor end,
Encircling all that has been, and waxing eternally to embrace all that shall be.

My soul counseled me and taught me to see beauty veiled by form and color.
My soul charged me to gaze steadfastly upon all that is deemed ugly until it appears lovely
Before my soul had thus charged and counseled me, I had seemed to see beauty like unto wavering torches between pillars of smoke;
But now the smoke has dispersed and vanished and I see naught but the burning.

My soul counseled me and charged me to listen for voices that rise neither from the tongue nor the throat.
Before that day I heard but dully, and naught save clamor and loud cries came to my ears;
But now I have learned to listen to silence,
To hear its choirs singing the songs of ages,
Chanting the hymns of space, and disclosing the secrets of eternity.

My soul spoke to me and counseled me to quench my thirst with that wine which may not be poured into cups,
Nor lifted by hands, nor touched by lips.
Unto that day my thirst was like a dim spark laid in ashes
To be put out by a drought from any spring;
But now my strong yearning has become my cup,
Love has become my wine, and loneliness my joy.

My soul counseled me and charged me to seek that which is unseen;
And my soul revealed unto me that the thing we grasp is the thing we desire.
In other days I was content with warmth in winter, and with a cooling zephyr in the summer season;
But now my fingers are become as mist,
Letting fall all that they have held, to mingle with the unseen that I now desire.

My soul spoke to me and invited me to breathe the fragrance from a plant
That has neither root nor stalk nor blossom, and that no eye has seen.
Before my soul counseled me thus, I sought perfumes in the gardens,
In jars of sweet-smelling herbs and vessels of incense;
But now I am aware only of an incense that may not be burned,
I breathe an air more fragrant than all earth’s gardens and all the winds of space.

My soul counseled me and charged me to answer and say: “I follow,” when the unknown and the adventurous call unto me.
Hitherto I had answered naught but the voice of the crier in the market place,
Nor did I pursue aught save roads charted and well trodden;
But now the known has become a steed that I mount to seek the unknown,
And the road has become a ladder by which I may climb to the perilous summit.

My soul counseled me and admonished me to measure time with this saying:
“There was a yesterday and there shall be a tomorrow.”
Unto that hour I deemed the past an epoch that is lost and shall be forgotten,
And the future I deemed an era that I may not attain;
But now I have learned this:
That in the brief present all time, with all that is in time,
Is achieved and come true.

My soul spoke and revealed unto me that I am not bound in space by the words:
“Here, there, and over there.”
Hitherto I stood upon my hill, and every other hill seemed distant and far away;
But now I know that the hill whereon I dwell is indeed all hills,
And the valley whereunto I descend comprehends all valleys.

My soul counseled me and besought me to watch while others sleep
And to seek my pillow while they are wakeful,
For in all my years I had not perceived their dreams, nor they mine.
But now I am winged by day in my dreaming,
And when they sleep I behold them free upon the night,
And I rejoice in their freedom.

My soul counseled me and charged me lest I be exalted because of over praise
And lest I distressed for fear of blame.
Until that day I doubted the work of my own handiwork;
But now I have learned this:
That the trees blossom in spring, and bear fruit in summer,
And drop their leaves in autumn to become utterly naked in winter
Without exaltation and without fear or shame.

My soul counseled me and assured me
That I am neither higher than the pygmy nor lower than the giant.
Before that day I beheld mankind as two men,
The one a weakling whom I derided or pitied,
And the other a mighty man whom I would either follow, or oppose in rebellion.
But now I know that I was formed even from the same dust of which all men are created,
That my elements are their elements, and my inner self is their inner self.
My struggle is their struggle, and their pilgrimage is mine own.
If they transgress, I am also the transgressor,
And if they do well, then I have a share in their well-doing.
If they arise, I too arise with them; if they stay behind, I also, to company them.

My soul counseled me and instructed me to see that the light which I carry is not my light,
That my song was not created within me;
For though I travel with the light, I am not the light,
And though I am a lute fastened with strings,
I am not the lute-player.

My soul counseled me, my brother, and enlightened me.
And oftentimes has your soul counseled and enlightened you.
For you are like me, and there is no difference between us
Save that I speak of what is within me in words that I have heard in my silence,
And you guard what is within you, and your guardianship is as goodly as my much speaking.

Thoughts on Forgiveness and a Practical Exercise

               Whether you’re new to the spiritual scene or you’ve been on your path for some time now, no doubt you’ve come across the big F-word: Forgiveness.  It’s huge.  It’s essential.  But why do we NEED to practice it?  What is forgiveness really and what does it have to do with Sacred Communication?  And, perhaps most important of all, how?  How do we forgive, especially in situations that are particularly hurtful or unjust?

                The answer to how relies heavily on the answer to the first two questions of why and what.  Let me begin by saying that to forgive doesn’t mean to condone the actions that led to the need for forgiveness.  It doesn’t make whatever happened okay.  We forgive to release ourselves from pain.  We forgive so our brains can stop re-experiencing trauma.

               You see, our brains, as amazing as they can be, cannot tell the difference between what is real and what isn’t.  As somebody who suffered from panic attacks for many years, this understanding was key to my freedom from anxiety.  Panic attacks are our bodies’ physiological response to a threat that isn’t really there.  My rapid heartbeat, cold sweat, and difficulty breathing wouldn’t seem out of place if I were, say, face to face with an angry grizzly bear.  What made them something my doctors called an anxiety disorder was that they would happen while I was in a safe and stable environment, like my living room.  Was I in danger while sitting on my couch watching Project Runway, procrastinating on a term paper?  I sure hope not.  But my brain didn’t know that because I was worrying or under stress.   You see in my head I was a complete failure who would eventually end up homeless and hungry.  So my brain sent signals to the rest of my body to go into survival mode, even though the reality of the situation was that I was well-fed with a roof over my head and cable TV. 

The same divide between reality and what’s in our minds occurs when we experience memories, especially those that are emotionally charged.  When we remember a painful situation, without practicing forgiveness, we re-experience the trauma of that event.  This, in turn, creates some major blocks in our flow and we vibrate at much lower levels energetically.  Just as a car loses fuel efficiency and is slowed down by heavy loads and deflated tires, our energy, our ability to communicate efficiently, is also burdened by pain and trauma we have experienced.  Forgiveness helps lighten our load.  Forgiveness raises us up, it inflates us, so that we become lighter and are better able to traverse the landscapes of our soul. 

         Forgiveness is essential to Sacred Communication.  When we carry unforgiveness  around with us, we are closed off.  It’s as if we are walking around with blinders.  We are unable to perceive what we need for our Highest Good.  Just as a starving man might ignore the risks associated with stealing to be fed, we too can ignore dangers in our quest to escape from the hurt we experience when remembering situations that call for forgiveness.  Forgiveness helps us heal and move on.  It helps US – the forgivers. 

          As stated before, forgiveness does not condone hurtful actions.  We don’t do it for others.  We do it for ourselves.  It is a process.  Yes, it helps us recover from pain and it lightens our burden, but it is no magic wand that takes one wave to cure the wound.  When we forgive, we cut the energetic ties we have to a particular person or situation.  We stop the flow of negative energy.  Once we do this we feel better.  However, we may still think of the situation, or even dream of the person, from time to time.  Revisiting and remembering the situation may still be painful.  That doesn’t mean our forgiveness didn’t “work.”  Nor does it mean you’re “stuck in the past.”  If this happens, I encourage you to ask your Broadest Being, what lesson still needs to be learned from this past event.  In fact, if you find yourself going back to a situation that you thought was far behind you, it might mean that you have finally reached a place of forgiveness in your heart that allows your soul to take what it needs from that situation.  Ask yourself without judgment what it is you need to know.  The answer will come.
          
         The following exercise will help speed along that process of forgiveness.  It can be done as a meditative visualization or you can actually do the actions described.  I call it praying with props.  Do whatever feels right to you.  If you would like to actually do this, you’ll need a writing implement and some sort of blank check.  This could just be a slip of paper you write on or you can find a template online and print it out.

First, enter your heartspace.  Hold your hands to your heart and take three deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth.  If you have something to write with, hold it in your hands to your heart as you breathe.  Your heart center is a vibrant glowing green.  You may even see sparkles of nurturing pink light (Mother Mary, according to some). 

            Once you are occupying your heartspace, ask your Highest Self for what needs healing most.  What situation or person needs your forgiveness?  Wait for an answer.  See what you notice.  It may be an image, a sound, a thought.  Or perhaps it is something obvious that motivated you to do this visualization in the first place.  Just notice your heart’s desire.  It is also perfectly acceptable to just choose something.

When you have decided who or what you wish to forgive, see yourself drawing a beautiful writing tool from your heart.  Maybe it’s a quill.  Perhaps it’s a fountain pen or a sparkly pen with a tuft of feathers on top.  It could even be a freshly sharpened number two pencil with bright yellow paint.  Visualize whatever brings you joy.  If you are actually doing this exercise, do the same in choosing what you are going to write with.  Write with something that makes you happy.  Your favorite pen or a writing tool set aside for sacred purposes.  Whatever you choose, see it glowing and charged with the bright emerald energy of your heart chakra.

           Now you are ready to write your check of forgiveness.  First, fill out the line, “Pay to the order of,” and write the person’s or group’s name that you are forgiving.  In the little box next to this line make the infinity symbol: a figure 8 lying on its side.  This ensures that your act of forgiveness reaches out and heals across all of time, even the past.  Next, on the amount line, write, “Total and Unconditional Forgiveness.”   It is unconditional because you are making the choice to forgive.  It is not hinged on the apology of the other person.  You may also choose to add a brief description of the situation that calls for forgiveness on the Memo line.  This focuses your act of forgiveness.  Before the last important step of signing your name, go back up to the top right corner of your check where the Date line is located.  Ask yourself if you are ready to forgive and release this situation/person fully right now.  Listen for the answer and be honest with yourself.  If you are ready, write today’s date.  If not, ask yourself when you will be able to?  Again, pay attention to your inner thoughts and feeling for an answer.  If a future date doesn’t come clearly to you, choose one and write it on the Date line.  KNOW that when that date comes, you will have completely processed the situation and will be able to release it fully, with no extra effort on your part.  Lastly, sign your name at the bottom of the check.  Your signature is important as it claims the intention as yours.  Then release the check and you are finished. 

If you are doing this as a visualization, you can visualize putting the check in the mail and the other person receiving it. If you chose to do this exercise in a tangible way, I encourage you to release the check in whatever way speaks to you.  You may choose to bury it or burn it (safely!).  You may even tear it into small pieces.  If you’ve post-dated the check (or even if you haven’t) you may decided to keep it on your altar for some time until you feel fully ready to release it.  You may choose to include this release in a ritual or it may be as unceremonious as you’d like.  It’s completely up to you.  Just do what you feel is right for you.    

           And there you have it.  With that simple visualization or act, you have rid yourself of the debt to whatever trauma you have experienced.  You have paid in full and are released energetically from any ties you have with the negativity of that situation or person. 

I hope you found this useful.  As always, I’d love to hear your feedback.  What worked and what didn’t?  How did you modify it to make it your own?  How did you feel afterwards?  What did you notice?  Anything you care to share will gladly be received. 

Communicate with Consciousness

What I love about this week’s title is that it can have so many meanings. And all of them would be an important aspect of Sacred Communication.  It could refer to communicating with THE Consciousness, the Divine, God, the Universe.  I suspect at some point we will expand upon that (this has a double meaning as well!).  But this week I want to simply speak about conscious communication, communicating mindfully.  It’s something we don’t do often enough, and we so need to.

Have you ever gotten in your car and the next thing you knew, you were at your destination.  Almost as if you had driven on autopilot.  It’s somewhat unsettling.  You were in control of a speeding hunk of metal, yet your mind was elsewhere.  You were driving unAWARE. 

Now, have you ever felt the same feeling after walking away from a conversation?  What just happened?  They just told me their name, how did I instantly forget it?  Did I say what I really meant to say?  I didn’t mean for it to come out the way it sounded.  Driving unAWARE can be just as scary in this context.  While the immediate consequences may not be as dire, over time, constantly communicating when we are stuck in our own heads can lead to serious breakdowns in communication. 

Upon further reflection on Sacred Communication and how it came to be, I realized it had origins even older than my pregnancy dream.  A couple of years ago, when I was just beginning this latest leg of my Spiritual Path, my husband, Cory, asked me an important question.  You see, Cory and I are opposites in many ways.  Even though we were both raised Catholic, we ended up with very different attitudes towards institutionalized religion. I wasn’t satisfied with the answers that were offered and so broke away to develop my own Spiritual Compass.  But Catholicism suits Cory just fine.  For him, religion needs to be a set of rules one tries to follow.  Straightforward.  I needed more.  Cory doesn’t agree with all my beliefs and I’m sure he finds many of them downright bizarre, but he’s witnessed the change in my BEing, a fulfilling of potential that he cannot deny.  He’s supportive and questions my evolving belief system respectfully.  I cannot fully express how grateful I am to have someone I trust so completely play that role in my life. 

One evening, as we were driving, I was explaining to Cory my belief that we are all ONE.  Not only did I mean we were all connected in a very real way, but that we were each truly part of a single whole, like cells in an organism, instruments in an orchestra, or the colored rays that make up white light.  “Then why does so much miscommunication occur?” he asked me in earnest.  After a breath, I simply replied, “Because we forget.” 

And we are constantly trying to remember our ONEness, whether we are aware of it or not.  We are constantly striving for connection.

Yet all we do is talk about ourselves.  Because really that’s all we can do. 

Notice for a moment that strange duality that exists in our interaction with a majority of the rest of the world.  It’s polite to ask people about themselves (although some topics are certainly off-limits): How are you doing?  How is your family? Where did you get that fabulous hat?  However, it can be considered rude or self-absorbed to go overboard in answering personal questions.  You don’t want to talk about yourself TOO much.  In other words, some of the more cynical of us may say no one really wants to hear about you talk about yourself.  They’re really just waiting for their turn to talk about themselves. 

So where’s the balance?  What’s the point of a bunch of fleshpods bumping around on this blue-green planet babbling about their personal points of view?  What’s the use if we are all ONE anyway?

To remember.

I want you to think someone you have a relationship with where you can remember its origin (so not a parent or someone who has been in your life since before you can remember).  A friend.  A lover.  A boss, even.  Then think of the moment(s) when your relationship with that person was “upleveled.”  Upleveling occurs when a spark is struck and a connection is made.  It happens when commonalities are uncovered and synchronicity shines.  Perhaps it was something he or she said that prompted you to give out your phone number.  Maybe it’s the point in the interview when you just knew you got the job.    For example, on our first date, my husband introduced me to The Strand in NYC, a bookstore that touted 18 miles of books! Upleveled.  Then, a couple of weeks later, I was talking to him about visiting my aunt for the weekend.  “Where does she live?” he asked.

“In upstate NY,” I answered vaguely.

“Where in upstate NY?” he persisted.

“Nowhere you’ve heard of.”

“Try me.”

“Um okay.  Shortsville.”  (No, I’m not making that up)

“I know where that is! My dad lives two towns over in Rushville.” Upleveled. 

It may seem pretty obvious that our relationships are built on connections.  When we’re lucky we bond over things we mutually enjoy.  But sometimes we have relationships based on occurrences we must grudgingly accept in our lives, like working in the same office building. 

What may not be so obvious is that we are in a constant search to uplevel the relationships we have.  It is the true driving force behind asking about your day or about that book you’re reading.  Whether we are AWARE of it or not.

So why don’t we make the choice right now to be a bit more AWARE.  What questions would you ask if you were consciously trying to connect to the person in front of you?  How would you answer if you were aware that the person on the other end of the phone was seeking to uplevel your relationship? 

It’s something to think about.  To meditate on.  I may not have offered practical practices in this particular post, but if you stay with me for the ride, I promise the concrete exercises will come.  Exercises designed to help us remember our ONEness.  So won’t you linger?  Let’s uplevel together.  Let’s practice communicating with consciousness. 

Say, what's this all about?

Communication, at its most basic level, is an energetic exchange.  Sacred Communication occurs when we remember that, since we are all connected as One, all communication truly takes place within.  When we are able to remember this Truth, we can practice communicating mindfully thereby removing blocks and re-energizing the flow.

Ok so that introduces “Sacred Communication” in a vast way that satisfies the part of me that enjoys defining EVERYTHING.  But what is this blog really about?  The truth is I don’t know … yet.  I can, however, tell you where and when it started.

In my dreams, when I freshly pregnant with E-Max.

Anyone who’s had the pleasure of experiencing crazy pregnancy dreams, go ahead and roll your eyes.  After all, you don’t go around in the waking world labeling people as pineapples or cacti.

But seriously, I dreamt I was working with families, teaching a workshop called “Sacred Communication.”  Those two words were so important I heard them shouted into my ear as I was waking up.  As if my subconscious, my Guides, random electrical impulses in my brain, whatever, were saying “Don’t forget-SACRED COMMUNICATION!” 

I awoke inspired to action.  A Divine calling to Teach I’m sure.  Nothing less.  But what was “Sacred Communication”?  I had no idea.  How was I going to teach something if I didn’t even know what it was?  The same way I had taught all other subjects I was fuzzy on: Google.
Well that didn’t exactly pan out.  Maybe I should have tried Bing.  Nor did my very teacherly approach of creating an official lesson plan with every minute outlined for the first workshop.  It was clearly time to grab my mind machete.  I had to cut my own path.

I’ve always cherished the idea of going against the grain.  Blazing my own trail.  But it’s easier said than done.  Truth is I can be a bit of a lazy butt.  And as those clichés illustrate, while the idea of creating my own path is a romantic one, the practice is both tedious and terrifying.  I found it difficult to break away from my plan of legitimizing myself through paying lots of money to earn degrees and working soul-crushing jobs to pay my dues.  I’m still a sucker for pieces of paper with pretty borders and shiny emblems.

Then a great mentor and friend of mine, Rich Braconi, spoke wisdom that served as the catalyst for my freedom.  He said, “You’re going to be teaching things that have never been taught in brand new ways.  Why would you be receiving the information through a traditional route?” 

That shut me up pretty quickly, albeit temporarily.  Those of you who know me, might say this is a good thing.  You’d be right. 

Sacred Communication is something I’m learning about in all ways.  Sometimes simply by just noticing.  Sometimes by knitting my brow and grasping at words until my brain hurts.  It’s a process and one I wish to share with you. 

A key component of Sacred Communication is to practice communicating mindfully.  As in mindful meditation, it is indeed a practice.  I could not hope to become an expert on this idea of Sacred Communication without consciously practicing communicating. 

So please join me on this journey.  Your participation isn’t just wanted, it’s a necessity.  I need to hear what you think.  What you have to say.  I need your input.  I need you to shut me up so I can listen.  Communication is, at the very least, a two-way street.  Okay, more of an infinite-lane thoroughfare.  Hop in.  Be my navigator.