Goodbye....for now

So this blog has fallen by the wayside a bit.  But I promise I've been writing...other things.  My focus has shifted as I've been given a gift - the opportunity to start and teach my own Mind, Body, Soul program for kids, Bright Soul Kids.  This is my Purpose and my Dream.  I'm still pinching myself.  And I'm diving in heart first.  Soon I will be launching my Bright Soul Kids blog.  I will be focusing, but not limiting, myself.  Sacred Communication has been a period of growth and exploration for me.  For that I am grateful.  But I assure you that by no means am I done growing and exploring!  There are cycles within and without cycles for all of us.  The beginning of one often means the ending of another.  I'm ok with that.  As a farewell gift, here's a poem I wrote about perhaps one of our greatest cycles-life/death.  <3 <3 <3  Brightest blessings to all you beautiful souls!  I'll catch you on my new blog.  Stay tuned for details!  In the meantime, enjoy!

There is a revolution

                    against decay
                             rot
                                 dust
We are refusing
          this natural order
Not botox
          not pilates
                   no war on free radicals
Our rebellion is an embrace

Nourished we grow

  we nurture until
          we only have enough for ourselves
   until our skin is so thin           we don’t even have enough for that
 

By then, it’s been so long

          since we’ve given
  we decide to make nourishment
                                      our last act of love

We lay our bodies down

          and offer what we have left to the Earth
                                                                   to grow a tree
                                                                   to grow a ship
                                                                   to grow a home
                                                          to grow a breath
                                                to become the whisper of
                                                          the Divine

There is a revolution

          of our planet
                    of our planet around our Star
Freedom is found in transformation
          of our turning to a twirl
                    of our spinning to a spiral
Our rebellion is a surrendering
                             an act of Trust
                                      in Perfect Love

A Valentine

Om mani padme hum

 

Within

the Lotus

there is a

Jewel

Without

the Jewel

there is still

the soft petals

of a breath-catching flower

 

Within

my Body

there is

my Soul

Without

the Soul

there is still

the perfect fleshbloodboneswatercellsmoleculesatoms

of Divine Creation

 

Within

the Heart

there is

Love

there is no Without

there is only Within

 

and when I wander

seeking to be empty

proclaiming myself loveless

the farther I walk

the deeper Within I travel

until I can only come home

to Love

 

Within

and

Without

there is only

Love

The Truth about Santa

No one ever said to me, “Santa isn’t real,” so I still believe in him.  I didn’t even question his veracity until I was 11.  And that’s when my parents told me the truth about Santa Claus: he was much bigger than one jolly, old man.

                “Well no.  There isn’t one man who goes around delivering presents to everyone all in one night,” my mom began in answer to my question.

                “No duh.  That’s impossible,” even I knew that.  I was 11 and not just a kid after all!

                My dad continued, “Santa is the spirit of Christmas.  He represents giving, surprise, anticipation, and cheer.  You can find him lots of places.”

                My mind raced back to all the Santa Clauses I had met in my lifetime.  I remembered all the times during Christmas seasons past when my dad excitedly said to me, “Now that was a real Santa!” after an encounter with a white-bearded man.  In my youth, I glanced over this slightly odd grammar, noticing it but not giving it much attention.  Shouldn’t it be “the real Santa?” I barely thought, happily sucking on a candy cane.   Now it all made sense.

                It wasn’t just a real, yankable, snowy white beard that made a Santa “real”.  A real Santa was the package deal.  Round.  With a twinkle in his eye.  Deep, happy laugh.  And a story. 

                Every year was a quest to find a “real” Santa.  My favorite one was a storyteller.  He spoke with a lyrical Scottish accent.  Instead of his formal red and white suit, he wore a green and yellow flannel shirt under dark blue overalls.  I didn’t mind one bit that I had to stand outside in the freezing cold to listen to his stories.  They were so warm.  And afterward he handed out lollipops.  I think my mom and dad were as enchanted as I was on that evening of shopping.

                Although I didn’t know it back then, this was a turning point in my own awakening.  I was beginning to see that magic was real, even if it wasn’t exactly as it’s written about in books.  No, it’s much more powerful and present than that.  Being aware of the Santa Spirit of Christmas allowed me to tap into it.  I am now an active participant, a co-creator, of the beautiful light that shines during this time of year.  And so are you.  Let’s celebrate!

UPDATE (12/14/12): REAL SANTA SPOTTED! Today I called my mom to wish her a happy birthday.  Before I got a chance to tell her about this blog post, she asked, "Have you seen the Santa at Bridgewater mall?"  I haven't.  "He's a real Santa," she excitedly started to tell me, raving about him.  He had the prerequisite real beard, but as you know it takes more than that to be a real Santa.  When I inquired further she joyfully recounted how patient this jolly old elf was.  My mom marveled at how he took his time with each kid that walked up to sit on his lap.  Even those who seemed the most timid, this Santa took his time with each one until he got them to talk and smile.  Patient and kind sure sounds like the Santa Spirit to me.  My dad couldn't resist chiming in excitedly from the background either, "And he had real rosy cheeks too!"  Both were as excited as kids themselves.  The ability to bring forth one's inner child is what makes real Santas truly special.  Have you seen any real Santas lately?

               

Happiness Maintenance

Have you ever heard someone say the phrase, “I’m afraid of success?”  Well it’s baloney.  It’s not success people are afraid of, because to achieve success and to maintain success are 2 different goals entirely.  What we really fear is the loss of energy.  When we take inspired action, we transform potential energy into kinetic energy.  And that kinetic energy eventually gets burned up. 

I haven’t really tried to lose weight since giving birth 8 months ago.  Oh I’ve moaned and groaned about it with a fair amount of self-loathing.  But I haven’t made a sincere effort to start an exercise routine or change my diet.  In not doing so, I held onto the potential of having any body I wanted.  Yes, some of it was fear of failure or of it being harder than I thought.  But I also knew that once I reached my target weight, I’d have to maintain it.  This meant long-term lifestyle changes.  And what if, somewhere down the road, I stop and gain the weight back?  Even if it’s 20 years from now, was it all a failure?  In other words, where can I possibly get the energy to keep doing this?

The truth is that I don’t know.  I want to say something like the Source, God, the Divine.  But I don’t know the future.  I can say I believe.  I believe that calling on the help of or tapping into the Divine will always be a source of great energy.  That’s just me though.  I know not everybody thinks or feels that way.

Then I thought, what if we shifted within?  Instead of having goals with an end date, something limited and finite, what if we broadened our perspective?  My goals in life used to be getting a job as a teacher, writing a book, and taking at least one vacation every year.  More and more my goals are becoming to be happy, to love my family through my actions as well as my words and feelings, and to feel fulfilled.

Will it work?  It seems to be so far.  Overall, I’m more content.  Sure I like to dream about having a bigger house with a big, warm kitchen.  But ask me at any given moment, and I’ll usually say I’m happy and am creating happy memories daily.  Instead of experiencing the happiness of reaching success in pops and sizzles surrounding moments of achievement, I experience it steadily.  And that goes a long way toward energizing me.  What energizes you?

Love is grand. Love is small. Love is really the only thing at all.

          At 7 months, my chill, calm, happy baby has reached his cry-if-I-can’t-see-Mommy phase.  He’s still happy, as long as I’m in the same room.  If my life comprised only of eating, playing, cuddling, and napping, we’d be okay.  Don’t get me wrong, a significant portion of my life is taken up by those things, more than most I’m lucky to say, but there are other chores, the labor of life, that I must attend to.  
          And therein lies my baby’s beef with me.
          The beautiful thing is that this means he is really starting to relate with his fellow humans. If I’m not there, who is?  To him, he’s all alone in the world, usually imprisoned in his crib, and that makes him sad.  
          And rightfully so.  If I’m not there feeding him, changing him, bathing him, playing with him, singing to him, cuddling with him, or simply observing him, where could I be?  He has no concept of washing machines or vacuum cleaners.  It’ll be years before he can begin to grasp germ theory so there’s no way I can tell him these are other things I do because I love him.  He doesn’t understand that even if I’m not in his view, I’m still here loving him.  Not today at least.
          This morning, I hurried to sweep the floor, vacuum the rug, and throw another load in the wash, my heart breaking with his every wail, the stress of hearing my baby cry piling on.  He sounded so betrayed, alone, and desperate.  So I asked our Angels to go comfort him.  Go give him a hug while I can finish up here.
          To my surprise, I got a hug too!  I was gently reminded to call on the Angels for myself as well.  It’s hard to listen to my baby cry.  I love him so much that my every action, even the writing of this, is infused with a mother’s love.  And still I sometimes fear I fall short.  The hug of compassionate self-love I received from my Angels reminded me that I never fall short.  
          Neither do you.  Angels aren’t around us only to move mountains.  Remember, you can call on them just for a comforting embrace or a supportive pat on the back.  Believe me, even this simple act does wonders.  
          When I came back to the room, the crying stopped instantly.  My baby flashed me a big smile.  Isn’t it wonderful how babies simply cannot hold grudges?  Then we went into the living room and had a dance party, the freshly vacuumed carpet beneath our bare feet.

An Open Love Letter to Mrs. B!

          So I just read the Introduction to your new book, Mrs B’s Guide to Household Witchery: Everyday Magic, Spells and Recipes.  Just so you know, I don’t do that.  I avoid introductions, forwards and prologues like teenagers avoid their parents.  I know I'm tired and the crazy hormone time of the month but I legit teared up.  I think it's a combination of things.

          For one I am so very very proud of you.  You know how many people I know who say they want to or are writing a book?  Myself included.  Do you know how many people I know actually did it?  1.  You. 

          Moreover, I am inspired by you.  In awe.  You live a courageous and happy life.  That's my plan as well.  I'm just learning how much courage it takes to decide to be a stay-at-home mom.  I must make this decision on what seems like a daily basis.  But I'm happier than I think I've ever been (the Girl Tribe factors into this greatly).  I’m happy because I’ve chosen to focus on what matters most to me - my family and home. 

          It’s more than that though.  For the first time in my life, I am filling an identity that fits me like a tailored suit.  I walk my Spiritual Path every day.  The magic is finally seeping into the mundane.  And the blend is beautiful.  I’ve donned the apron of the domestic witch and it feels good. 

          I guess what I’m trying to say is that this book feels like it was written for me.  I’ve never picked up a book that felt so completely written for someone in my identity suit.  And I’ve picked up lots of books.  “[This book] will hopefully lead you to some ideas on creating a house filled with magic and give you a broader view of what it means to be domestic,” (xi).  YES PLEASE.  “[Domestic witches] are attempting to restore things that have started to get put on the back burner in this busy, often chaotic world.  However, being a domestic witch is still about being a modern witch who works as an equal to their partner and with their chosen deity to make a warm, welcoming environment in their home.  For those who choose to be parents, it’s also about brining up healthy, happy children who are self-sufficient, self-assured, and who have a well-rounded spiritual upbringing,” (xii).  Yup that sounds like who I am and who I want to be!

          So of course this books speaks to me.  You shown me, Mrs. B, that being a stay-at-home mom and domestic mini-goddess is  something to be proud of.  You’ve shown me that it can be so much more.  It is a true opportunity for one to get to know herself, come into her own, and follow her dreams.  And for that I thank you.  Now that the purging and organizing I started when going through the nesting phase of late pregnancy is finally complete, I can’t wait to infuse magic into each room, each chore and each meal.  Luckily I’ve got the manual.

You too can have The Manual, aka Mrs. B's Guide to Household Witchery: Everyday Magic, Spells, and Recipes: Available on Amazon in Paperback or for your Kindle!  http://www.amazon.com/Mrs-Bs-Guide-Household-Witchery/dp/1578635152/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349205491&sr=8-1&keywords=mrs+bs+guide+to+household+witchery

Make sure to visit Mrs. B over at Patheos.com on her bodacious blog Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/confessionsofapagansoccermom/ 

How flow can you go?

I’ve been guided to share something I’ve been working on recently, a lifestyle change that has dramatically decreased my stress, particularly as a new mom: I’m learning to live in flow. 
 

First let me explain what this doesn’t mean.  Flowing freely doesn’t mean giving up your goals and dreams.  Though you may loosen your grip a bit, it doesn’t mean you aren’t still moving and working toward your aspirations.  It doesn’t mean throwing in the towel and ignoring your daily chores and duties.  And when it comes to dealing with kids, while remaining flexible makes things easier, it doesn’t mean giving in to their every whim and letting them completely dictate your day.  Even babies.  Because when you live in flow, you let Spirit guide your day.

 

Living in flow is all about using and strengthening your internal compass each moment of every day.  It is about surrendering your control and letting Spirit guide you.  It’s about recognizing that every step you take is moving you forward, even if you don’t understand how just yet.  It is about Being Present, not just during meditation, but for most, if not all, of your day. 

It can be a scary thing to let go of your to-do lists.  Conventional wisdom has taught us that accomplishments can only come to fruition through careful, sometimes painstaking planning.  Routine and structure can be comforting and, for some individuals, a necessity. 

 

But is it for you?  How much have you ever dared stray from it to find out?

 

When I started practicing living in flow, I stopped hyperventilating at night if I hadn’t gotten to vacuuming during the day.  Guess what?  The rug was still there the next day. So was the cat hair. On days when the baby was fussy, I found that if I let go of my worries about getting all my errands done and focused on calming him down, everything that needed to get done would.  A more efficient way of doing things would come to me in a stroke of inspiration or I’d find later on that I never really needed to do that chore at all!  Instead of having a schedule that tells me vacuuming gets done on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, laundry on Tuesday and the bathroom on Thursday, I vacuum when the cat hair has accumulated, do the laundry when the hamper is full, and delegate the cleaning of the bathroom to my husband.  It’s a much more grounded approach to housekeeping.

But that’s just the beginning.  I found another stressor was the plethora of ideas I had regarding writing, crafts, research, learning, exercise, decorating, music, creating, the list goes on.  I’d make lists everywhere: in journals, on the fridge, on my computer, on my cell phone.  Moreover, I felt overwhelmed when I tried to prioritize them.  So I wrote them down on little pieces of paper, crumpled them up, and put them in a jar.  Now each day, I take out a little piece of paper and go with it.  If I finish it, I choose another one.  If I feel moved to focus on something for longer until it’s done, I do.  For that too is living in flow.  I find that things come up exactly as they need to in perfect timing.

 

I’ll be honest.  There are still times I get overwhelmed and anxious.  I still have moments where I worry I’ve gone too far.  I have doubts.  Have I neglected something important?  I still have nights where I try and make a mental to-do list for the following day before drifting off to sleep.  But this is reasonable.  I have totally changed my way of life.  I’ve rebelled almost completely against the way I was told to go about my day and make use of my time. 

It is because of this that I take time everyday to consciously surrender myself and my day to Spirit.  To set the intention aloud.  I usually do this in the shower but that’s just where it feels right to me.  You could do this anywhere at any time: before you get out of bed in the morning, on your way to work, in traffic, at night before you go to sleep, whenever you remember it.  Begin by closing your eyes and focusing on your breath.  Let your hands rest on your heart or down out your sides, palms facing out. Take a moment to center yourself. 

 
I surrender this day
I surrender this day to the Divine
May I live in Spirit
May I flow freely
I let go of all yesterdays regrets
I release all tomorrows worries
May I be fully present today
In perfect love
And perfect trust
I surrender today

 

Just start with that affirmation daily.  Don’t worry about making a jar or letting go completely.  Just simply say “I surrender,” and then see what happens.  It’s all about following your truth.  Flow free.